


Heart's Desire

by laireshi



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age Kink Meme, Dubious Consent, Light Bondage, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Trespasser Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 13:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5498972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Halward is happy for Dorian's relationship, Felix is alive, and Bull visits Tevinter.</p><p>(Something's not quite right, Dorian thinks.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart's Desire

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for beta to the wonderfully evil [Comicsohwhyohwhy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/comicsohwhyohwhy/) :)
> 
> Written for a DA kink meme prompt: [link](http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/15866.html?thread=60422906#t60422906) (the prompt spoils the whole fic)
> 
>  
> 
> **There are more detailed warnings at the end.**

_Dear Dorian,_

_your mother and I have been very glad to receive your letter. The situation in Tevinter hasn't changed. We hope you will be successful in stopping Corypheus before he infects too much of Thedas._

_The Iron Bull seems like a decent person. I hope he is treating you well, son. We would be delighted to meet him. You know you can visit any time._

_Love,_

_Father_

Dorian smiled, putting the letter away. He missed his parents, this was true, but the south had other advantages. He wouldn't have met Bull, studying in the Circle.

It was a shame Bull couldn't go to Tevinter with him.

Dorian frowned. Where did this thought come from? It was a long trip back home, but there wasn't any reason for Bull not to go with him, once Corypheus was defeated. He'd like it. His parents would love Bull, he was certain, and Dorian wanted them to meet, wanted Bull to be welcomed into his family. He wanted to show him where he'd grown up, how sunset coloured the streets of Qarinus.

After Corypheus, he promised himself. They'd have time.

***

Felix was hunched over a piece of paper, a folded scroll on the table next to him. He was writing something, absolutely focused on what he was doing.

Dorian patted him on the back to get his attention. “It's almost dinner time.”

Felix looked up, smiled. “Sorry. I was writing back to Alexius.”

“Tell him hello from me,” Dorian said. “He's working on the cure, then?”

“Yeah. Making it safer. It worked on me, but I _do_ have some magic. Not much, but . . .” Felix shrugged. Dorian knew he never minded that; magic wasn't something Felix particularly desired. But that the Blight was cured—that was a miracle, and it was a good thing Alexius continued working on a more stable solution, especially now that Corypheus threatened to unleash another Blight on Thedas.

“We'll defeat him,” Felix said like he read Dorian's mind. “And then when we go home, you can help Alexius, if you want. I know he'd appreciate your advice.”

That would be nice, Dorian thought. He liked Alexius, and the work he did with him was one of the most interesting fields he'd touched upon. “When we go home . . . I was thinking of taking Bull to see my parents anyway,” he admitted.

Felix nodded. “They'll love him,” he said. “Everyone else does.”

“Hey,” Dorian said. “I'd be jealous if I wasn't so wonderful myself.”

“No you wouldn't. He only loves you, after all.” Felix paused. “Oh, and there it is. The 'sickly in love with him' face, Dorian.”

Dorian didn't even mind his teasing.

***

“Keep breathing, kadan,” Bull whispered softly, and the affection in his voice was almost more than Dorian could handle.

Dorian relaxed. He let Bull handle him the way they both liked; tie his wrists to the headboard with a silk blue rope that looked spectacular against Dorian's skin. Bull's eye seemed dark as he looked Dorian over.

Dorian struggled in his bounds, and he couldn't move, and it was perfect. “My—” his voice was breathy already; the things Bull could do to him with a bit of rope—“my ankles too, if you please.”

“Whatever you wish, kadan,” Bull agreed and picked up more rope. He ran his finger from Dorian's hip to his big toe, never raising it, a steady presence on Dorian's skin, and it was so little and so much at once. Dorian wanted to _scream_ with it. He almost told Bull to leave it at that, just fuck him already, but there was something he loved about being that vulnerable, about trusting someone that completely, something he was looking forward to.

Bull kissed his ankle before tying the rope around it, binding the elaborate knots that looked like art more than anything else. He moved to Dorian's second leg, and Dorian's breath hitched. Yes, good, almost there—

_He couldn't move, and Hissrad was leaning over him, his face completely calm, what would he do to Dorian now, what would he—_

“Katoh!”

_—what a stupid sentiment, it's not as if Hissrad was going to stop now that he got Dorian here, and he'd used magebane; Dorian was a naive idiot, why—_

He had his magic. His hands were free. He threw a barrier around him on instinct before noticing that so were his legs, the rope cut around them. He couldn't breathe.

What—

Bull was at the wall, watching him with a worried expression. There was concern there, and love, and not an ounce of ill-will or annoyance.

Of course not. It was the Iron Bull, and he was more than Dorian had ever deserved.

Dorian dropped the barrier. “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

Bull shook his head. “Not your fault,” he said. “Do you want to—”

“No!” Dorian answered too quickly. No. Bull was safe. He didn't need to hear about Dorian's paranoia. Dorian looked at the ropes again and shivered involuntarily.

“Sorry,” Bull said. “I just wanted to get you out of them—I'll take them away. Can I come closer?”

Dorian nodded immediately. He didn't flinch when Bull stood closer to him for a moment to pick up the remains of the ropes.

He felt better that he didn't have to look at them anymore. “Come here,” he said, and Bull came, but he still seemed uncertain. “Just—hold me,” Dorian asked.

Bull settled next to him, and put his arm over Dorian's waist—lightly, careful not to hold him down. He ran his other hand through Dorian's hair, making sure not to pull on any strand accidentally.

They stayed like that for hours, and Bull didn't ask. Dorian reminded himself he was safe again, and by the morning, he believed it.

Bull loved him. He wouldn't harm him.

They didn't go back to ropes for a long time.

***

Dorian slowly woke up. He was still sleepy, warm and content. Bull threw his arm around Dorian's torso, keeping him effectively trapped, but Dorian didn't mind. It was nice to see Bull didn't want him to leave.

“Awake, Dorian?” Bull asked.

Dorian murmured something in reply. Just because Bull knew that he was no longer asleep didn't mean Dorian was going to wake up.

“Okay,” Bull whispered. “But I have to get to work. Krem should have a report for me. Join me when you're actually conscious?”

Dorian managed to nod before drifting off again.

He got up much later, but the sheets still smelt like Bull. He smiled softly before going about his morning routine. Then he went to the tavern, knowing he'd find Bull there.

Something warm settled in his chest as soon as he spotted him, and without thinking he crossed the room in a few strides, climbed Bull's lap and kissed him deeply.

For a moment, he was mortified—everyone could see, everyone—then he moved away from Bull, but mostly with confusion.

Why would anyone mind . . . ? It didn't make any sense.

There was a question in Bull's eyes, but Dorian just shook his head and kissed him again and again.

***

The streets of Qarinus smelt like sun and oranges. Like home. Dorian had missed it so much.

“You look happy,” Bull said when they'd barely disembarked the ship.

Dorian hated sea travel, but it was worth it just to get here quicker. He inhaled deeply and smiled. “I am,” he said.

“I'm glad to hear it, kadan,” Bull answered. “It looks nice from here.”

“Wait till you see the market,” Dorian promised, thinking dreamily of all the spices and fine silks. “But first we'll have to—”

He stopped himself. There, on the right, Halward Pavus was walking into the docks. He had double his usual guards with him, but he really was there in person.

Dorian hadn't expected that.

He grabbed Bull's hand and quickly marched to meet his dad.

Halward smiled at their sight. “Dorian,” he said. “And the Iron Bull, I presume?”

“Yes,” Bull nodded. 

“Dorian wrote a lot about you.” Halward sounded warm. “It's a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Father—”

And then Halward hugged him.

Dorian knew it was impossible, but at the moment, he was too happy to care.

Moments later he wasn't sure why he'd been surprised. Halward had always loved his only son.

The guards took their luggage, and together they travelled to the Pavus residence. It was good.

***

Hunting down Qunari agents was not how Dorian imagined the Exalted Council going, but he couldn't deny it was nice to be with the Inquisitor again.

It was nice to fight at Bull's side again.

They'd spent a long time in Tevinter together and enjoyed it—but there was something to the heat of battle too.

Maybe Bull was rubbing off on him. Dorian shuddered at the thought.

Another wave of Qunari. It was basically routine. Still . . . “You okay, Amatus?” Dorian kept asking.

“Yes,” Bull said, every time.

“Change of plans, Hissrad,” Vidassala said, and Dorian wasn't worried.

Hissrad was long gone. Bull was on his side. Always would be.

“Not a chance, ma'am,” Bull answered, just like Dorian knew he would, and together they killed the remaining agents. They fought in perfect harmony, as always. Dorian kept his barriers up around their team, and Bull made sure no one got close enough to Dorian to interrupt his spellcasting.

It was quick work.

“Are you all right?” Dorian asked after the last agent fell.

“Never better, kadan,” Bull replied, and—

It was wrong.

_A blade going through his arm._

_Magebane._

_His mana, disappearing quickly, too quickly._

_The last desperate spell; channelling his power from the dead around them; and Bull, no, Hissrad, at the centre of it. He didn't even look surprised as Dorian's spell destroyed him from inside out—and Dorian stopped looking as the body he'd touched the night before turned to dust._

_“Iron Bull must've been so proud of himself,_ kadan _,” he spat. He felt dizzy._

 _The Inquisitor caught him when his legs gave in, and then he was vomiting, and he blamed it on the magebane, on pushing himself so, not on_ him _._

_Bu—Hissrad was nothing._

_Never had been._

_Tevinter taught him to play this role, at least._

Dorian sat up, taking a panicked breath as if he'd been drowning. The purple demon leaning over him hissed and jumped away.

“I could give you all of that, Magister Pavus,” it intoned in a silky voice.

Dorian didn't have his staff, but he had his anger. He called the power to his hands, gestured at the demon, watched it burn before he really understood what it was he was pushing away.

His parents—Felix— _Bull_. 

He let it all sink in, the memory of how _happy_ he'd been in that fake world—and only then did he look at the demonic corpse. He wondered if he made the right decision.

He should've noticed sooner, he scolded himself. Halward being nice? Falling for Bull's affection for the second bloody time? Would he never learn?

Never trust kindness, Dorian.

Mae jogged up to him. “That's it from the Vena—are you all right?” She tilted her head to look at him more closely.

“Yes,” Dorian lied smoothly. He was. Nothing happened. Nothing.

“It got you,” she noticed.

“Great deduction, Mae, absolutely stunning,” he snapped. “And now it's dead.”

“And nothing happened?” she asked dubiously.

He couldn't bring himself to lie again.

“There's good wine in my estate,” she offered. “Once I set our spies on _who_ clued in the Venatori we'd be here.” She was still watching him closely.

“I . . . Thank you,” he said.

The demon's illusion felt real. Bull's kisses felt real. Felix voice sounded just like Dorian remembered it. It was Halward's handwriting in the letter.

He shook his head again. He'd drink until he forgot, and as many times as he had to.

And then he would never be that weak again.

(He'd promised himself that once already.)

**Author's Note:**

> Trespasser bad ending: Qun!Bull betrays the Inquisitor. Dorian kills Bull in battle.
> 
> Consent warning because the sex scene here is really a desire demon influencing Dorian. The happiness is all a lie, basically.


End file.
